<rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"><channel><title>saltylanguage</title><description>saltylanguage</description><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/blog-1</link><item><title>Episode 367 - If It Moves, It Bleeds</title><description><![CDATA[This week, Bryan and Tony discuss Tony's last week of work, Bryan's Dr. visit, Funko sell outs, Nutri Slicer, Red Dead Redemption 2 gameplay trailer, domestic Superman, gimmick beers, sleep, Tony on Twitter, product placement, old men at a rock concert, Dude Mountain, our QoftheW and recap, and more! QoftheW #1: What's your fight song?QoftheW #2: What property should have a gimmick beer?Subscribe / rate / review us on Apple Podcasts!Visit us at: saltylanguage.comApple Podcasts:<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_6a93b72a8ac845c2be83ec5a98553429%7Emv2_d_1400_1400_s_2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Bryan</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/08/14/Episode-367---If-It-Moves-It-Bleeds</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/08/14/Episode-367---If-It-Moves-It-Bleeds</guid><pubDate>Tue, 14 Aug 2018 21:28:29 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_6a93b72a8ac845c2be83ec5a98553429~mv2_d_1400_1400_s_2.jpg"/><div>This week, Bryan and Tony discuss Tony's last week of work, Bryan's Dr. visit, Funko sell outs, Nutri Slicer, Red Dead Redemption 2 gameplay trailer, domestic Superman, gimmick beers, sleep, Tony on Twitter, product placement, old men at a rock concert, Dude Mountain, our QoftheW and recap, and more! </div><div>QoftheW #1: What's your fight song?</div><div>QoftheW #2: What property should have a gimmick beer?</div><div>Subscribe / rate / review us on Apple Podcasts!</div><div>Visit us at: saltylanguage.com</div><div>Apple Podcasts: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/salty-language/id454587072?mt=2</div><div>Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3GnINOQglJq1jedh36ZjGC</div><div>iHeart Radio: http://www.iheart.com/show/263-Salty-Language/</div><div>Google Play Music: https://goo.gl/35HR6A</div><div>salty-language.tumblr.com / facebook.com/saltylanguage</div><div>@salty_language / saltylanguage@gmail.com http://salty.libsyn.com/webpage / http://www.youtube.com/user/SaltyLanguagePod Instagram: SaltyLanguage Reddit: r/saltylanguage Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/salty-language</div><div>Blubrry: https://www.blubrry.com/salty_language/</div><div>TuneIn: http://tun.in/pi72k Voicemail: (415) 857-2589 tangentboundnetwork.com dangerentertainment.net Share with your friends!</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Devs Notes #4 - Groin Strength</title><description><![CDATA[Despite the all the whiskeys we drank in Detroit, Dev is still going strong with his quest to live tweet the past. For sure an amazing feat of endurance. Hilarious and very much appreciated. Follow along It's time! It's time! It's @Salty_Language time! Strap in for #Devnotes on "Episode 4 - Groin Strength" This week they are coming from Groin Strength Studios. is working on carrying a @ChipotleTweets turd baby to term after having had a black bean burger that was like "eating a mountain lion<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735%7Emv2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Dev w/intro by Tony</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/04/16/Devnotes-4---Groin-Strength</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/04/16/Devnotes-4---Groin-Strength</guid><pubDate>Tue, 17 Apr 2018 02:53:24 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735~mv2.jpg"/><div>Despite the all the whiskeys we drank in Detroit, <a href="https://twitter.com/PodmanBigDev">Dev</a> is still going strong with his quest to live tweet the past. For sure an amazing feat of endurance. Hilarious and very much appreciated. </div><iframe src="//static.usrfiles.com/html/465c7e_e324d91b47ad2237c6cbf4c6f5e26c43.html"/><div>Follow along </div><div>It's time! It's time! It's @Salty_Language time! Strap in for #Devnotes on &quot;Episode 4 - Groin Strength&quot; This week they are coming from Groin Strength Studios. is working on carrying a @ChipotleTweets turd baby to term after having had a black bean burger that was like &quot;eating a mountain lion with the flu&quot;. &quot;It was like Play-doh fun factory.&quot; Question is, did @monoTONY equip the star die or round? &quot;Is that semis down shifting on the highway?&quot; &quot;Do you guys have trains around here?&quot; @monoTONY &amp; @stewnami killing it w/ the tasteful descriptions of farting outside Tony unleashed chemical warfare in his house.. WHAT?!?! Tony has love of Sam Adams....? Tony's craft game is weak early on. Michigan/Ohio earthquakes are like California snow. The apocalypse is upon us. First T reference! Sad that it was made during news about the local titty bar, I mean gentleman's club, burned to the ground. T's got all those 1's and no thongs to stuff them in. Guys start to talk about reviewing Apollo 18 and get interrupted by breaking news of Steve Jobs' resignation from Apple... this show is hitting all the memories. Shitty cars getting ass-packed by buses you say? Stevie J got a Cristal bidet? His ass must be all about the bottle service. (Not the last time the guys with talk about weird bidets... Call forward to episode 350) Getting back to Apollo 18 talk. Boring because it's not Mars? &quot;Shaky cam sucks dick... a bushel even&quot; - @monoTONY  Tony wants to make used panties tea. Clearly trying to capture that Japanese audience</div><div>1 in 10 things on the internet is intelligent? I thought it was just all porn to someone.  T&amp;B try to pit @netflix &amp; @redbox against each other for sponsorship. Bryan is willing to install a kiosk on his porch. Just saying</div><div>Show takes place prior to school being in session and the internet delivers Tony a message of how much better Xbox live will get because kids are going back to school. Many laughs were had. Bryan shits on Ice Cube's career. Tony tries to rep Ice Tea, but Bryan burns it down just like the local titty bar. I would actually pay to see Operation Dumbo Drop 2 w/ @SnoopDogg, @cypresshill, and @WuTangClan, @monotony. That movie sounds legit. Movie Club? Another failed #SLP idea. @stewnami thinks people will pay for more #SLP only 4 shows in... little does he know, they try to get that money in the future... and have to retool rewards. wants to buy pinkie rings w/ your money and @monoTONY wants to install bidets. Had Bryan not said who the party bus was stolen by, I would have assumed this story was about werecoon Tony. The pantless thief totally sounds like Tony's M.O. Is still a thing?  Stop HOUND-ing the news about bad puns when talking about dogs being kidnapped. (animalsbeingdicks.com) &quot;Look at the belly. If there's big file marks where the serial number should be, it's stolen.&quot; Pretty sure Tony has a robo-dog, not a real dog. Tony has tats? This should have been breaking news. Fuck Steve Jobs. &quot;Somebody got shot in Toledo over a tattoo&quot; is like say &quot;somebody got shot in Saginaw&quot;, Bryan. Wait... Boo-boo the Yorkshire Terrier? I don't think that dog was kidnapped, that dog left willingly. &quot;You see the dick on this dog?!?&quot; I have never heard that being a selling point for a dog, @monotony, but now I can't unhear it. A lot of organic food talk. I like to put all the chemicals in my body. Bring on the weird sproutings from my body. Tony thought about raising chickens and tilling a garden... not sure if that ever panned out. Guys decide they need an official sign-off and then get distracted by Kraft Dinner. Tony laid waste to the tiny house (aka Wasp nest) on his tiny house on his property. Said tiny house is the future site of a joke involving T &amp; @tjlhigh. #KeptMan Red Sonja reboot talk during Conan reboot talk. Again... show dates itself w/ talk of Ghost Rider 2 yet to come out. Nic Cage acting awful? Never.</div><div>The guys get fully erect at reading the synopsis of Hobo with a Shotgun. Guys officially introduce themselves as they shut it down because they still haven't figured out &quot;Have a beer, you'll be fine&quot; is their bread &amp; butter sign-off. Final Thoughts: Another great episode. The guys have a great chemistry on the mic. Lot's of LOL moments. Starting to get into them making plans and not following through in true #SLP fashion.</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Dev's Notes #3 - Thor, the God of Blunder</title><description><![CDATA[At this point I couldn't believe he was still doing it and I love him more because of it. Truly the highlight of twitter for me right now. See it live on twitter @podmanbigdev Wanna hear it too?Oh it's true. It's damn true! Time to saddle up for "Episode 3- Thor, God of Blunder" of @Salty_Language. Prepare for Devnotes. Origin of evil or poorly planned sequel? @monoTONY does not feel it necessary to warn people of the foul stench of death after long poop session. That's just cold. Bryan has a<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735%7Emv2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Dev w/intro by Tony</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/04/16/Devnotes-3---Thor-the-God-of-Blunder</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/04/16/Devnotes-3---Thor-the-God-of-Blunder</guid><pubDate>Tue, 17 Apr 2018 02:45:15 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735~mv2.jpg"/><div>At this point I couldn't believe he was still doing it and I love him more because of it. Truly the highlight of twitter for me right now. See it live on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/PodmanBigDev">@podmanbigdev</a></div><iframe src="//static.usrfiles.com/html/465c7e_9c4f0b066534f8614b48014f15064905.html"/><div>Wanna hear it too?</div><div>Oh it's true. It's damn true! Time to saddle up for &quot;Episode 3- Thor, God of Blunder&quot; of @Salty_Language. Prepare for Devnotes. Origin of evil or poorly planned sequel?  @monoTONY does not feel it necessary to warn people of the foul stench of death after long poop session. That's just cold. Bryan has a case of aneurysms... or sinus infection. Which is a symptom of headbutt herpes.  Tony goes looking for a hand cannon and gets serious with home defense with the Barrett 50 cal. Shooting a bullet a mile = impressive. Shooting a missile a mile = weak sauce. Battlefield trailer gives the guys another erection connection, but CoD Zombie map beats it back. &quot;So it's pedophilia if an adult rapes a kid, but what if it's the other way around? And it's forcibly done.&quot; @stewnami posing the hard questions. Still covering the London riots. BBC would be proud. &quot;If there is summer sausage flopping around, you gotta warn.&quot; &quot;Looks like Hillshire Farms.&quot; The dynamic duo strikes again. The guys review The Almighty Thor. The consensus is stay away. How can a movie with Kevin Nash as Odin be bad though? Thor comes to earth gets taught to shoot a gun. Must have landed in Texas. (Loki is the Trickster God, Hela is the Godess of Hel) Odin and Bill, the best of the Norse gods. Floppy swords? We talking 'bout dicks??? &quot;Seamless like Frankenstein's forehead&quot; @monoTONY knows how to cut through the bullshit and get right to the point. &quot;If you're going to have that look in your eye, at least be sucking dick for porn.&quot; -@stewnami</div><div>Tony is blown away by push-up bras for teenage girls.  The guys beg to suckle at the @netflix teat once again. Wonder if still exists.... &quot;Fruit bowl for everyone.&quot; @monoTONY likes his capris extra low riding. (hipsterhitler.com) Yet another @KellyFail shout out, with the Jimmy Kimmel/Matt Damon snub.  Tony says sayonara instead of &quot;Have a beer, you'll be fine.&quot; It just feels wrong. Also, full show and no introduction for either host again. Classic #SLP</div><div>Final Thoughts: The guys may not have found their stride yet, but they are damn close.  The Almighty Thor just might be the &quot;The Room&quot; of Norse mythology movies. Only T&amp;B are brave enough to make fun of breast cancer. #5starballwash</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Devs Notes #2 - Canadian Yoko</title><description><![CDATA[Another brilliant tweet thread from Big Dev. When this came across my twitter it was then I decided that I had to transform these into blog posts. So without further ado, here we go...In case you want to listen too Oh shit. Here we go with "Episode 2- Canadian Yoko" by @Salty_Language. making the topical Emeril reference with how much extra salt will be added to this episode. We also get our first shout out for a 5-star ball wash, but the boys only call it a reviewErection connection made when<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735%7Emv2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Dev w/intro by Tony</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/04/16/Devnotes-2---Canadian-Yoko</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2018/04/16/Devnotes-2---Canadian-Yoko</guid><pubDate>Tue, 17 Apr 2018 02:35:34 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735~mv2.jpg"/><div>Another brilliant tweet thread from <a href="https://twitter.com/PodmanBigDev">Big Dev</a>. When this came across my twitter it was then I decided that I had to transform these into blog posts. So without further ado, here we go...</div><iframe src="//static.usrfiles.com/html/465c7e_6e0642d411a6583c1c057408c35c9807.html"/><div>In case you want to listen too </div><div>Oh shit. Here we go with &quot;Episode 2- Canadian Yoko&quot; by @Salty_Language. making the topical Emeril reference with how much extra salt will be added to this episode.  We also get our first shout out for a 5-star ball wash, but the boys only call it a review</div><div>Erection connection made when Voltron avatars on Xbox Live is mentioned. Snarf gets no love, and old school toons fail to hold up. The new Thundercats sounds legit.</div><div>&quot;You do have the pungent odor of vassal on you.&quot; - @stewnami  I was unaware that wage slave had an odor. Perhaps this will become a TonyCo. cologne spray. &quot;It's like wearing one of them turkey roast bags around your crotch.&quot; - @monoTONY  Tony straight stewing in ball soup. We get another @KellyFail callout. Who is this Kelly, and why did she fail so bad? &quot;Who's that guy that threw his shit at people?&quot; &quot;Gorilla Grodd before he got smart&quot; This exchange is why people still tune in every week.</div><div>&quot;If someone needed to put a bullet into the lame horse that was hair metal...&quot; - @monoTONY  Poor choice of words or perfect when talking about Kurt Cobain as an influential musician? (I don't think @AngelsFreak7 would approve)</div><div>I had no idea that Kim Jong-Il was a WoW gold farmer. I guess I'm glad he had some kind of creative outlet...<div>Did London rioters leave the bookstores alone because only Nazis burn books? &quot;Hey, I've listened to Fuck the Police.&quot; @stewnami trying to connect with the kids about 2 decades too late. People still don't understand that the police can find out about illegal activities when they brag about it on Facebook</div></div><div>&quot;Apple has done what the government would love to do to us.&quot; @stewnami with the deep political commentary.</div><div>Scrapping is so hot right now according to Tony. For some it's a lifestyle, for others it's fun.  I really wish Tony would have gotten a pic of that unicorn hobo.  For Draper is 4D Raper? Did @monoTONY go full Jeopardy Sean Connery? &quot;The 4th dimension is anal.&quot; Yes it is, @stewnami, yes it is... Zima and wine spritzers are baby toucher drinks. Dammit... Why didn't DD Studios take hold?  Bowling ball talk, nice.</div><div>Matt Stafford is going to play a whole season injury free? Wasn't this the year that he nearly lost a finger?  Tony only wants blown out spines when guys get injured in the NFL. Detroit drafts a dude that went full Ford while deplaning? &quot;Because, when you take a shit, you have to do it in the most angry way possible.&quot; If the dumpy ain't grumpy, you aren't pooping right. Mobile gaming is weird. Why the hell would I play on my 6&quot; screen when I have a minicomputer hooked to a 70&quot; screen. &quot;I picture just like the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinski situation&quot; &quot;Oh, he's blowing him?&quot; I don't think DC had that in mind for intern Robin in New 52, but that would have been way more interesting.</div><div>&quot;In theory, there is a vagina involved, but you're also getting beard burn.&quot; @monoTONY posing the ultimate thought experiment on making love to the bearded lady at the carnival. THIS SHOW PREDATES MILES MORALES SPIDEY?!?!?!? Holy shit. Talk about dating the age of a show. Totally thought Archie talk was going sexual, but Reservoir Dogs Archie is way better. And even darker with the Philadelphia Archie storyline. &quot;I blocked that out like a rape&quot; The Rocky &amp; Bullwinkle movie was bad, but not that bad @monotony. Full show and no intro to who either of them was. Classic @Salty_Language before it was classic. Final Thoughts: Excellent sophomore show. The guys did a great job of keeping the show rolling and it sounded really good for a show that was just getting started. Mind still blown by this predating Miles Spidey. Loved the dark humor. Lot of good, offensive quoteables in this episode. Some solid back and forth punchlining on comments. #5starballwash</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>Devs Notes #1 - And So It Begins</title><description><![CDATA[So friend of the show Dev from Snake Oil Comics, Snake Oil Horror and of course Shot Of History. This big beautiful man decided to go alllllll the way back and live tweet our shows, from the beginning. If you're not following him on twitter @PodmanBigDev you can find his tweet conveniently collected here. So like the title of our first show...and so it begins. Just in case you want to follow alongBecause no one demanded it, I will be live #tweeting every episode of @Salty_Language while I start<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735%7Emv2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Dev w/intro by Tony</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2017/04/24/Devnotes-1---And-So-It-Begins</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2017/04/24/Devnotes-1---And-So-It-Begins</guid><pubDate>Tue, 17 Apr 2018 02:20:30 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_b12f806abf8048c0b9dd4f17e10f9735~mv2.jpg"/><div>So friend of the show Dev from Snake Oil Comics, Snake Oil Horror and of course Shot Of History. This big beautiful man decided to go alllllll the way back and live tweet our shows, from the beginning. If you're not following him on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/PodmanBigDev">@PodmanBigDev</a></div><div> you can find his tweet conveniently collected here. So like the title of our first show...</div><div>and so it begins.</div><iframe src="//static.usrfiles.com/html/465c7e_a7972e8ef5fa368b6eb767401417d32f.html"/><div> Just in case you want to follow along</div><div>Because no one demanded it, I will be live #tweeting every episode of @Salty_Language while I start from episode 1. I may never catch up to the current episodes</div><div>The guys shit all over the Novi con and a casino in Detroit being a reason not to got there. They now love Detroit (call forward &quot;The white people are back!&quot;)</div><div>They completely shit the bed on remembering that Will Smith was in &quot;I Am Legend&quot; in an attempt to compare Detroit to post-Will Smith fuck up in New York. 2 minutes later, Tony finally looks the name up. This show is so old, Bryan is talking about looking at the upcoming DVD list for his @netflix subscription. He is erect for Shotgun Hobo. Wondering if Tony still has a season of Dexter on DVD in his house</div><div>( ~19 min mark) Remember emo kids... if you cut yourself, make sure it's a cool looking design. Get that corporate sponsorship money. of #HOBI trying to sneak through the recording studio. This is one of many coming appearances I'm sure. Kevin &quot;Whats-his-nuts&quot; Spacey gets Tony's seal of approval as Lex in &quot;Superman Returns&quot;</div><div>Hoff-sicles and CM Punk-sicles are or should be things</div><div>At 26 min and 32 seconds in, we finally get to shameless plugs/bidness time. They are also recording at Bryan's place with his Satanic cat that is contemplating Tony's sacrifice. WoW cockblocks selling of anything on eBay. The guys old-school it when playing games and find the pay-to-play method dumb. </div><div>12 year-olds Hitler youths in game chats? Fuck 'em! John Madden travels on a flatbed truck because he refuses to fly and he is too fat to ride on the bus. Burger King destroyed Tony's colon. Made his bathroom look like a crime scene. Begging @netflix to sponsor the show before the show even posts. Brilliant marketing strategy, get them to commit before they know what's going on. &quot;Here you go, you want something that will really offend people?&quot; - @stewnami. This should have been the show's slogan. @KellyFail.... is this still a thing? Are we still tagging her when things go wrong? Darth Maul raises the roof... more like Darth Raver! Holy shit! This show started when @DCComics's #New52 was launching?!?!? Good lord. &quot;Every page of delicious, blue dong&quot; - @monoTONY </div><div>Tony knows how to sell Watchmen. Never question his methods. Dr. Manhattan should have used his blue dong of justice for bludgeoning people to death in the movie. Snyder really missed an opportunity there. Tony needs to reshoot the movie right now. &quot;I'm no man-ass connoisseur, but I do know a nice ass when I see it&quot; - @monoTONY</div><div>&quot;Because, basically, who wears underpants?&quot; - @stewnami  Truer words have never been spoken. So much talk about poor choices in comics. Also, too much Superman talk. Only the Salty boys could relate Superman to Roseanne. I like that Tony refers to the @netflix streaming service as &quot;instant Netflix&quot; instead of just Netflix. Man is this show old. Back to comic talk. At least it's talk about the Ultimate Marvel universe. Stan Lee was cool with it only because of the dump truck of money. Blackest Night was last year's big DC event?!?!? God lord.... The current age of comics should be the Cum Rag Age. And now we're shitting on Leifeld art and big titty Cap.</div><div>&quot;The Flash is kind because he rewinds&quot; - @stewnami  Extremely topical jokes. &quot;'Hey, let's go ride our bikes.' 'Ah... don't be gay.' Doesn't mean he's going to suck dicks somewhere&quot; - @monoTONY  The insight is super deep. All these off limit words talk got me going</div><div>Dark humor pushes the pain away according to the boys, and they couldn't be any more correct. Talking about &quot;Short Attention Span Theater&quot; w/ @marcmaron on HA network? Topical talk indeed. Digging real deep. &quot;Cup Holder Theater&quot;? Is this still a thing @monoTONY ? Do these still exist on the YouTube channel? Guys surprised by going a full 1.5 hours on the first show. Wrapped with &quot;Have a beer, you'll be fine&quot;, and history was made.</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>My problem that is not really a problem</title><description><![CDATA[So my iPhone 6 plus is a marvel of technology. Fast, large, a nice bright screen and plenty of storage. When I upgraded from my iPhone 4 it was like Wizard Of Oz switching from black and white to color. I couldn't believe how much better it was. I couldn't believe I went that long with such a "tiny" phone. What the hell was I waiting for? Suddenly I was part of the present again. Until now...My home button broke, I can't simply unlock my phone with my thumbprint anymore. I can't quickly add cash<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_0c3fa1295c7642cc99c381a66d1fa9a9%7Emv2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Tony</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2017/04/07/My-problem-that-is-not-really-a-problem</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2017/04/07/My-problem-that-is-not-really-a-problem</guid><pubDate>Sat, 08 Apr 2017 00:24:00 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_0c3fa1295c7642cc99c381a66d1fa9a9~mv2.jpg"/><div>So my iPhone 6 plus is a marvel of technology. Fast, large, a nice bright screen and plenty of storage. When I upgraded from my iPhone 4 it was like Wizard Of Oz switching from black and white to color. I couldn't believe how much better it was. I couldn't believe I went that long with such a &quot;tiny&quot; phone. What the hell was I waiting for? Suddenly I was part of the present again. </div><div>Until now...</div><div>My home button broke, I can't simply unlock my phone with my thumbprint anymore. I can't quickly add cash to my Starbucks app without typing in my password now. The inconveniences are staggering. </div><div>I had to add a virtual button to access my phone</div><div>To switch between apps</div><div>Hell even to take a quick screenshot</div><div>So now I wait, I payed handsomely for the insurance on the shitty thing. I went to my Verizon store, they assured me that my new device would be in my hands post haste. That was over a week ago, the damn thing is lost in transit somewhere in Texas. I'll once again have to trouble myself with heading back to the store. As I was fretting over this I listened to a <a href="http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/justin-wren-5">Joe Rogan Experience</a> with a heavyweight fighter by the name of Justin Wren. This man gave up five years of his life to help build water wells in the Congo for Pygmies. Listening to him really put my bullshit into perspective. Despite the fact I was inconvenienced by my failing device I was still better off then most of the population of the world. Here I am employed, healthy, with a decent paying job and a mildly successful internet radio show. Life seems pretty good really. Lately I've been trying hard to shift my perspective, see things from other angles I normally don't view things from. You ever have that wake up call? The one where you realize you just may be more selfish than you thought? The focus on my phone was just a facet of this. Its been a rude awaking lately but its also healthy. Growing pains and whatnot.</div><div>Check back here for updates.</div><div>Also I did get my replacement phone and life stayed about the same.</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title>First post in a while and why I can't hang out at a coffee shop</title><description><![CDATA[So we decided to put a blog up again and like your stereotypical blogger I'm sitting in a Starbucks.BloggingLike an assholeIt's 8 pm, I have a fresh dark roast coffee to fuel my judgement. I'm watching a single mom take her eleven year old on a "date".I'm watching college students high fiving, broing out cause they ran into each other at random. One with terrible, faded jeans that have seen most of the decade. The other with guns that I'm admittedly jealous of. Why am I judging these people? Is<img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_8663c8d360794056830f08f336cd90ee%7Emv2_d_2048_1222_s_2.jpg/v1/fill/w_626%2Ch_374/1b4906_8663c8d360794056830f08f336cd90ee%7Emv2_d_2048_1222_s_2.jpg"/>]]></description><dc:creator>Tony</dc:creator><link>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2017/03/27/Under-construction</link><guid>http://www.saltylanguage.com/single-post/2017/03/27/Under-construction</guid><pubDate>Tue, 28 Mar 2017 01:33:36 +0000</pubDate><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://static.wixstatic.com/media/1b4906_8663c8d360794056830f08f336cd90ee~mv2_d_2048_1222_s_2.jpg"/><div>So we decided to put a blog up again and like your stereotypical blogger I'm sitting in a Starbucks.</div><div>Blogging</div><div>Like an asshole</div><div>It's 8 pm, I have a fresh dark roast coffee to fuel my judgement. I'm watching a single mom take her eleven year old on a &quot;date&quot;.</div><div>I'm watching college students high fiving, broing out cause they ran into each other at random. One with terrible, faded jeans that have seen most of the decade. The other with guns that I'm admittedly jealous of. Why am I judging these people? Is it because when I stop into a coffee shop its a dirty quickie? I can't fully enjoy the atmosphere, even when its overwhelmingly commercial like a Starbucks? Now I can't remember if I talked about this on the show. One morning not too long ago I was killing time before work at Starbucks. There was a guy that had what amounted to his whole office spread out before him. What struck me was a good portion of the people walking in said hi to him and chatted briefly before ordering their drink and leaving. I hate to admit it but I was a little envious. It made me want to have a job where I could hang out at a coffee shop, work and chat with the customers.</div><div>Whatever, it is what it is. Well now that I'm home and we're about to finally record with Graphic Novice its time to post this and move on with my life.</div></div>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>